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Right, let's try and get back on track….

Right people...

I'm back.

The laundry has been done, the coffee pot has been refilled, I've bought some chocolate and I've hoovered.

So, work time!

Since returning from Australia I've been in a daze. A daze of denial mainly. Mainly about my supposed 'tan'. Every morning for the past fortnight I have woken up, looked upon my arms and body and noticed the summer freckles slowly disappearing one by one, becoming ghosts on my body, causing me to question my mental stability: 'Did I imagine them? Were they really there?'. :(

It's only been a fortnight since I returned and yet it feels like a lifetime ago. My fingers have turned to crippled prunes due to the amount of pen pals I've acquired and thus the amount of letters I've been writing. The joy of receiving a letter in the post in this modern time is pretty much a mind-orgasm. Reading someone elses words and working out someone elses hand writing is one of the most lovely and delicious things you can do (in my opinion). For April my challenge is to write EVERY day to multiple people, quitting text messaging, and instead relying on the written word to plan social events and parties. If YOU would like a letter, email me your address and I'll send you one.

In order to escape the feeling of 'returning to normality' after Adelaide I adventured to Paris on my own this weekend, a well-hatted flaneur. I spent hours of Sunday climbing steep, leaf-frothed hills and boulders in Fontainebleau forest. I'd seen paintings depicting Fontainebleau at a recent Reubens exhibition at the Royal Academy, but nothing could have prepared me for the exquisite natural beauty and innate sense of calm and happiness that being completely surrounded by thick trees and moss caused me. Imagine every Grimms Fairy tale forest, in one forest. That is Fontainbleau. The huge boulders and the movement of the trees made me feel beauitfully disorientated. From the landscape of Australia, to the landscape of grey London, to be immersed in Autumnal forest was rejuvinating. It seemed getting lost in a forest was the perfect thing to clear my mind, unpack my mental suitcase of worries and concerns, in preparation for the slow mounting build-up to the comedians' pilgramage to Edinburgh in August.

Now, I am back. It's 4:47pm on Wednesday 1st April and it is my first full day back in London in a lifetime.

Yesterday I spent a day with my family in Brighton to celebrate my dad's birthday. A blissful day which I can't convey in writing, except for saying my parents chose to dress in Shaun-the-Sheep-esque matching mormon jumpers and my brother for the first time broke a smile rather than his usual model pose. It was a good day of family weirdness, and another good day away from London which has resulted in my creativity being rebooted and pushed back into gear.

So, no more escaping now, onwards with work....

Alongside some fantastic gigs on the horizon (do check out my gigs page) I have lots of erotica to write, a fashion column for PippaSays to do, and a write up on all my favourite new comics for Also, I urgently need to learn French, for reasons I cannot disclose as yet....

So, keep your eyes peeled for exciting news and updates.

Hope you are all well,

Elf xxxxx

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