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Elf's Diary Entry #24 - Pre-Paris Planning

I should have probably written this blog entry about an hour ago. But I got distracted watching dance clips of Dirty Dancing on the internet before then choosing to see if I could master Swayze's infamous hip movements in the comfort of my own bedroom (I can't). Nothing like a a failed attempt at the cha-cha before bed.

In three days time I am whizzing off to Paris with my dear friend, Alex (I met him when I checked his bag in at a nightclub when I worked the cloakroom). I'm prepping by re-reading my much loved copy of John Baxter's 'We'll always have Paris' and my more intimidating copy of 'How to be Parisian', given to me by my mother at Christmas. Lucky for me I have many crisp white mens shirts, (borrowed & stolen from the wardrobes of good friends over the years), hanging up ready to be transported to Paris to complete the infamous Parisien girl look that I want to achieve (recommended by the writers of How to be Parisian). I have five white shirts hanging stoically next to one another on my clothes horse. All beautiful shirts. Yet when I look at them across my room now they remind me of the story of Bluebeard and his ex-wives heads (*shows you where my head is at*). It seems like a very John Niven/ Bret Easton Ellis adaptation of the old fairytale: rather than decapitated heads, you have the blood stained shirts of your ex lovers... all hanging hauntingly in the utility room...

Could make a very good re-imagining of the old story....


That is DEFINITELY a good idea for a future Ed Fringe show.....

[excitedly scribbles down on piece of paper]

Must chat to Simon from OddFlock when I get the chance....

[realization: I have clearly drunk too much gin]

Pre our trip my friend Alex has messaged me to notify me I am banned from uttering the dreaded 'E' word whilst we are on our adventure, preceded by the 'T' word. Nothing ruins a holiday more than repeating the phrase 'TOO EXPENSIVE' apparently. However, I will argue and I am sure you can all agree, nothing is sexier than the phrase 'BARGAIN?!" followed by 'LOOK AT MY EFFICIENT BUDGET AND EXPENSES SPREADSHEET'. Am I right guys?

I genuinly cannot wait to arrive in Paris. Particularly to visit the wonderful Shakespeare & Co and treat myself to a book with their lovely stamp on the inside cover, whilst listening to someone play the old piano upstairs. Also, I am keen to find an old restaurant I visited many times years ago in Bastille which served the best escargot I have ever tasted and had an old cat who would curl up and sit on your head as you ate your dinner.

Time to finish my real journal now and then fall asleep.

Sleep well!


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